Indeed, even when events that are not under your control go awry, you can at the very least determine how you will react to the event. For one, it gets boring very quickly! Shifting the blame makes you feel shifty a lot of the time, right? What is your plan B? Every problem can be explained away with reasons why they can’t affect the situation or the outcome, especially at work where it is easy to find excuses because people are so closely intertwined—and every project has a chain of internal customers who are dependant on others in the chain. Gently—don’t beat yourself up—redirect your thinking to thoughts that will support your success and happiness. Then, eat and exercise like the person who would weigh that particular weight. Laugh, if you can, when you think about the time you spent obsessing over matters that are over and completed. Spend your thought time planning your next successful venture. We are responsible for our thoughts and behaviour, whether deliberate or unintentional. Don’t make excuses or blame others for what you do. 4 Ways To Take Accountability For Your Actions (And Why So Many Don't) Kathy Caprino Senior Contributor Opinions expressed by Forbes Contributors are their own. The responsibility is yours, and it starts with developing a belief or habit of mind that you, as an individual, are accountable for the quality and timeliness of an outcome, even when youre working with others. Lucy is a travel and wellness writer currently based in Gili Air, a tiny Indonesian island. Then, act like, look like, and practice the actions that successful managers exhibit in your organization in that role, Make your desire known, too, as you will never realize your goal if you keep it a secret. Moaning about your situation is often the same as waving a white flag and accepting it as permanent and insurmountable. Perhaps there are certain people with whom you cannot accept any blame because doing so makes you feel inferior or incompetent. … This cannot happen without power. Everyone must take responsibility for their own actions, you must try to make it right, especially if you hurt someone by taking no responsibility. Be proud of yourself when you succeed at something. In Part 1 of this series, we looked at the importance of accepting responsibility as well as the consequences that can result if we fail to do so. In order to create a happy, healthy and successful life, you need to take responsibility. Instead, if you have done something, failed to do something, or are just drifting through life, your next action is all important. For many people, everything is someone else’s fault. This can really help improve your relationships at work, as well as with your family, friends, and partner. For one, it gets boring very quickly! Sure, if something pressing comes up, you can explain to the other person why you are unable to do whatever it is you said you’d do. This includes events that 'happen to us', our actions and our results. Sure, that can be hard to figure out at times, but it is a process that you should try to stick with and go through as many times as is necessary for you to form concrete and realistic aims for your life. If an individual you respect supplies feedback that you make excuses and blame others for your woes. Your choices matter to you and create the life you live. Eliminate blame, eliminate excuses. Ask how you can be prepared for things to go awry. You are in charge. Listen to the voice in your mind. Just accept that you’re human and you’re never going to be ‘perfect’ in your own eyes. If this sounds familiar, it’s time to get a new process in place. Every choice you make; every action you take—matters. As you know from Part 1, there are two kinds of responsibility: personal and indirect responsibility. Part of the power of taking responsibility for your actions is that you silence the negative, unhelpful voice in your head. What situations are most likely to result in you running from your responsibilities? Stepping up and taking responsibility for what’s going on in your life is one of the most important things you will ever do – and one of the best. Each time you … One never fails or commits mistakes if they do nothing. The most important step to taking responsibility for your life is to stop … Choosing to take responsibility… Kids have a natural tendency to want to avoid taking responsibility for the actions they've taken. Are You the Employee Coworkers Identify as Negative? You no longer dwell on what went wrong or focus on whom you are going to blame. When you fail to responsibly guide your direction and outcomes, you set the stage for creating a miserable life—a life that fulfills none of your dreams and aspirations. That said, there are limits! Stop Blaming Others. You can make an event a disaster or you can use it as an opportunity to learn and to grow. What can you do to avoid inconveniencing others? When you own what’s happening in your life, you can really start to shape your future. To thrive as an adult you need to take responsibility for your actions. The main reason is … While it is important that you own up to these mistakes, it is equally as important to forgive yourself for them. It is not your job, your spouse or partner, the cost, or the time that holds you back from achieving your dreams. We’re not saying that you have to suddenly apologize for everything and constantly feel guilty and downtrodden! This page contains affiliate links. You take responsibility for your actions, simply because you have a deep sense of pride in what you're doing. If not, and you’re an actual human being(! You may also like (article continues below): Now that you know how important it is for you to take responsibility for your actions and your life, how do you achieve this? Taking Responsibility 101. Want to travel? No matter how hard you try to blame others for the events of your life, each event is the result of choices you made and are making. Others are small. Positive thinking becomes a helpful habit. That group work project that didn’t go to plan? I enjoy all and implement in my life to get better results. By taking your share, you’ll inspire others to hold themselves accountable for the issues too. You can practice responsibility every day by thinking about your actions and responses and taking accountability for the consequences of your choices - good or bad. Do you need to set a course and do things to grow in life? Excuses for failure, excuses about your choices in life, excuses about what you feel you have accomplished—and what you have not—fuel dysfunctional thinking and consequently, undesirable actions and behaviors. Friends and family members tend to give a lot more slack than work associates do, but that doesn’t mean they’ll let you coast along forever. In order to be a success in college, you have to apply your life learned lessons to … Are You Taking Responsibility or Placing Blame? Identify and Live Your Personal Values for Success in Life and Work, Visionary Leadership Has 3 Characteristics You Want to Find and Follow, Surprising Examples of Lapses in Workplace Ethics, How to Answer the Interview Question "Describe a Problem at Your Last Job", 5 Things You Should Never Do When Leaving a Job. You don’t waste time building roadblocks to your … Live every day as if what you do matters—because it does. But it for your son so that he understands his place in life. Sure, we may still feel bad for accepting that we’ve not done our best, but at least we have a level of awareness and want to work toward bettering ourselves. Part of this is knowing when not to make firm commitments or promises that you know you will not be able to keep. That means you can’t cancel dinner plans because you had a crumby day at work. When you spend your thinking time on success and goal accomplishment, instead of on making excuses, you free up the emotional space formerly inhabited by negativity. Being responsible is … Believe him. So it’s not all doom and gloom. But, breaking the habit begins with identifying and accepting it for what it is. Are You a Manager that Employees Want to Follow? Taking action is a crucial part of taking responsibility for situations. But, how to get even, how to replay or recast a situation that has already occurred, or how to make excuses or blame others is not powerful, positive thinking. Susan Heathfield is an HR and management consultant with an MS degree. Don’t wallow. You’ll benefit so much from stepping up and owning your behavior and you’ll gain a lot of other people’s respect along the way. Avoiding accountability can make us feel frustrated and more than a little guilty. However, I’ve found that most women don’t have as much trouble taking responsibility for their actions; while men do just about anything to avoid taking responsibility. No one wants to admit that there was a better option that they did not take. By realizing that you are in charge of your own life, you’ll find it much easier to start creating – and maintaining – your own happiness. And, they tend to play themselves over and over again in your head. The reference of entering the world in infancy is a critical analogy to … Your thoughts either criticize or support the accomplishment of your goals. When your thoughts are negative or unsupportive of your happiness and success, you have to change your thinking. But it does mean you own the obligation to take action and deliver results. Thus, taking action is part of both failing and correcting one’s … Taking … You’re not perfect and you will make mistakes. Own that amazing presentation you did at work and take responsibility and credit for the hard work you put into it. It’s so easy to blame things on other people, or on the circumstances around you. Life is full of choices. You'll Get More Feedback if You Receive It With Grace and Dignity, Follow These 6 Steps to Accomplishing Your Life Goals and Resolutions. Listen to yourself when … Accept yourself for who you are and find ways to make yourself feel better along the way. Quotes about Taking Responsibility for Your Actions “The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. But how you deal with them emotionally is important. Colleagues, for example, don’t want to work alongside someone who cannot take constructive feedback. They either support you to think about and take positive action or the opposite. It is a mindset that you create and strengthen through repeated execution. Buy it for your daughters so that they too will understand taking responsibility for their actions … Answer for your own actions. Constructive feedback from others can feel like a slap in the face, however well-intentioned it may be. And to avoid having to make excuses in the first place, think of ways that you can build contingency into your plans. Again, not everything is within your control, but where you do have control, you must be willing to take it. The same will likely hold true for your people: by working on re-engaging them, you can lead … When you deny responsibility for everything that you manifested in your life, you are denying yourself your own power to take … Know that avoiding responsibility is as much a habit as it is a conscious decision. It doesnt always mean you have authority over a project. By seeing these ideas written down, you’ll realize in your own safe space that you’ve got room to grow. Are You Taking Responsibility or Placing Blame? Wives, buy it as a gift your your husband. At some point, the loved ones in your life will expect you to step up and be accountable. Write down how you feel about certain events or people. By getting into better habits, you’ll form a better mindset. In your conversation, do you. We all know how stressful life can get, and how quickly things can get a little bit… out of control! By accepting responsibility for the things you can control, you’ll feel more positive about your life in general. That's the day we truly grow up.” - John C. Maxwell The power behind taking responsibility for your actions lies in putting an end to negative thought patterns. To take responsibility for your … Maybe you’re late to meet a friend for dinner. They are able to make choices because they understand that they are responsible for their choices. However, accepting responsibility for your choices can also be very empowering. Even people who adore you will get bored of you constantly blaming others for things that are within your control. And this gives you the power to stop before you pull that verbal (or mental) trigger. Sure, other people and factors have an influence, but you are responsible for your own actions and anything that happens within the boundaries of your control. Excuses for your already taken actions fuel failure. By stepping up and accepting that your actions have consequences, you can find ways to make those consequences positive. Do you need to apologize for not doing something? Stop blaming other people. But without taking responsibility, you're all the more likely to look at your career as a failure because you allowed any passing wind to blow you around, all the while blaming the wind for how things turned out. “The power behind taking responsibility for your actions lies in putting an end to negative thought patterns. You know the drill. Moments when we can take one path or another. Responsibility, on the other hand, to me is something vastly more powerful, as well as empowering. Let that difference move the world forward. Once you do this, you’ll become more aware – more conscious – of when you are doing it. Every action you take affects organizational progress in one way or in another. It might help if you start writing things down. The good news is that it also means celebrating yourself when you do something great. Essentially, this means acknowledging the role you play in your own life – the good bits and the bad bits. We often know when we’re pushing the blame onto someone else and it can leave us feeling pretty guilty and drained. All Rights Reserved | Contact Us | Privacy Policy, How To Take Responsibility For Your Actions And Your Life, apologizing when you have done something wrong, Balancing Your Internal-External Locus Of Control: Finding The Sweet Spot, How To Stop Running Away From Your Problems And Face Them With Courageous Resolve, How To Stop Repeating The Same Mistakes Over And Over, How To Get Your Life Back On Track When The Wheels Have Come Off. Taking responsibility is not a onetime action. ...Personal Responsibility Julie Torbert Gen 200 August 13, 2012 Ben McCollum Personal Responsibility Personal responsibility includes taking accountability for one’s actions, responsibilities, and goals that will improve performance and relationships in one’s life.Personal responsibility means that one is responsible for his or her actions … And, observe yourself talking with coworkers, family members, and friends. Rather than looking around for someone or something else to blame, you must accept that you are in charge of what is going on. Power is to serve responsibility…